A familiar feeling of calm arose within me. I took some deep breaths and thought about my “whys.” I recalled my list of what I value and what I have prioritized. As I walked, I contemplated the life that I want to live. I reminded myself again that I always have choices, and that the choices I make create the life that I am living.

Thoreau’s words resonated in my mind: “Simplify. Simplify.” And in that moment, I was living it. Deep breath. Awareness. Gratitude.

Authenticity demands vulnerability. Shifting to authenticity can lead to significant life changes – long-term friendships and relationships may end, and opportunities may shift. These aren't necessarily negative outcomes; they're just part of the deal.

With December upon us, thoughts of 2024 and reflections of 2023 consume my mind. The two contrasting leaf scenarios became a poignant analogy for year-end contemplation. As I review the past year, I ask myself: What experiences have left a beautiful yellow carpet on my soul? What moments, situations, and relationships have contributed to warmth, love, and fulfillment?

This reminds me that I’m not special (I know that sounds negative, but hear me out). Many pieces of my human experience are similar to others’ human experience. As humans living in our current society, there are common things we struggle with. I see them over and over again, no matter where I go…

For years. I felt overwhelmed, like there was too much to do everyday. I was always exhausted. I was busy doing ALL THE THINGS, and yet I could never get it all done. I carried a constant loop of “I’m not doing enough, I’m not doing it well, what’s wrong with me, why can’t I keep up?” in my head. It led to me living with anxiety daily. And spending time managing my anxiety, which of course led me to feeling even more behind on ALL THE THINGS.

In a coach/client relationship, we become researchers. As part of our work together, we take a deep dive to explore what’s going on below the surface. Many times, the true issue or challenge isn’t what the client presents with. Rather, it’s a deep-seated limiting belief which creates emotions, and then the emotions cause a behavioral reaction which then leads to negative experiences.

…I thought about how many of us carry baggage. How we carry it around, day after day, and we ignore it. We carry around feelings of inadequacy, and of pain and sorrow. We carry around voices in our head – questions or scoldings from teachers or parents, mean words of bullies or of others who maybe didn’t say very nice things to us. We carry around expectations of ourselves…

For most of my life, I did love wrong.

Every time she came for me, I kicked it up a notch so she wouldn’t get by. I could hear her muttering under breath at one point. I knew exactly how she felt. I’ve been there. I was hoping she would go away, but she was super strong and she kept trying, time and again.

Grey hair, don’t care…

I used to be a yeller. I was controlling. I listened to the voice that said if my kids didn’t present as perfect, then I was a failure as a parent and as a human.

When you follow an outer compass, rather than honoring your inner compass, you will forever be chasing. ..

If my son saw a beautiful light in the sky one morning and chose to go watch the sunrise instead of getting to school on time, I would support that. Because more important than what they teach us in school is what they don’t teach us…

…the more I walked, the more I learned. The more I paid attention to ME, the more I realized I had been living for everyone else. The more steps I took, the more I realized that the child in me had been searching her whole life for someone to rescue her, not realizing that the rescuer needed to be ME.

While at first glance, coveting this may seem boastful and shallow, I promise you this runs very deep…read on…