Words Taken To Heart

“The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” - Henry David Thoreau

While driving home from a work visit in New Hampshire the other day and I found myself in rush-hour traffic.

I was facing a 3-hour ride to get home to Falmouth, and since I’m not a regular commuter, sitting in workday traffic is not a welcome experience for me (I realize I’m not unique in this! I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone who enjoys traffic, but we all get through it, and perhaps consider it a necessary inconvenience. Some are better at it than others.)

I wasn’t anxious or overly distraught about “getting home on time.” But as is usual for me, my mind did start to review options, possibilities, and hard vs. soft requirements.

This led to an internal conversation about whether or not I needed to sit in this traffic, or if I should seek an alternate route.

Paying no mind to the app on my phone that insisted that crawling at a snail’s pace with fifty thousand other cars was the “fastest way” to get home, I decided to take a cut through that I remembered from years ago. I hopped off the highway to make my great escape, only to quickly realize that years ago when I knew this route, there weren’t as many cars on the road. I had exited the highway into even more traffic.

Annoyed, but not yet defeated, I opened my Google map to look for a different route to travel. Maybe this is a chance to explore some new back roads.

After shifting from annoyed mode into explore mode, I found a route that looked like it could work. I was eager to get exploring. And then as I looked up ahead of me, I noticed the sign on the road. It read “Walden Pond, next right.”

My stomach jumped a little, and my eyes grew wide as the realization hit me:

Walden Pond: THE Walden Pond. A place the description of which had moved me at a young age.
Henry David Thoreau: The author of penned words I have cherished for decades.
Walden: The first book that called to my soul, opening my eyes to soothing words, my mind to philosophy, and my life to more choices and consideration.

Walden was required reading in one of my high school English classes, and at that time an introduction to contemplation had arrived for me, and it changed my life.

I had never visited Walden Pond, this location that in the 1850’s was barely known, but is now infamous.

“Why have I never visited?” I wondered. I’ve actually driven by this road many times. But I was always on my way to an obligation or event when I passed by, with no time to spare.

So on this random Tuesday afternoon in April, as the sun was finally shining after a weeks-long rainy patch, and I had only traffic in my immediate future, I decided to choose me. I took the next right. I entered the dirt parking lot at Walden Pond State Reservation, and exited my car, leaving the afternoon commute behind.

I landed at a seemingly ordinary pond with a very small sandy area with a walking path around it. It didn’t look like anything life changing at first glance.

To reference the age-old question posed by The Clash, I wondered “Should I stay, or should I go?”

While considering how long it might take to walk the entire path, the voice in my head said “You have things to do, you should go home. This is irresponsible. Everyone else is working, you should be too.”

I wondered if I was avoiding doing “The Things.” Was I? Well, yes. I was avoiding doing “The Things,” because I was ready to choose to spend my time Living and Being instead of “Thinging.”

After doing some math and time calculations (kids take note: we do actually use some of what we learn in school in real life), I determined that most likely the traffic would be there waiting for me when I was finished with my afternoon soirée into Thoreau world.

I had a choice right now. And in just a few hours I could arrive back at home with a new experience and an energy re-set, or feeling drained from the familiar experience of highway traffic. I had no doubt that at the end of my day, I would be glad that I had taken this small respite.

I dismissed my unsupportive thoughts, and I began walking.

Walking the path immediately made me feel close to nature. A familiar feeling of calm arose within me. I took some deep breaths and thought about my “whys.” I recalled my list of what I value and what I have prioritized. As I walked, I contemplated the life that I want to live. I reminded myself again that I always have choices, and that the choices I make create the life that I am living.

Thoreau’s words resonated in my mind: “Simplify. Simplify.” And in that moment, I was living it. Deep breath. Awareness. Gratitude.

Possibly due to the weeks of rain, and then a beautiful sunny day (I’m not an entomologist, but I do like to ponder the “whys” and “hows”)…the path was swarmed with black flies. It was quite a challenge. They went up my nose, buzzed around my head, and at times it was like walking into a cloud. It was annoying and I did have to cough some out of my mouth a couple of times, but I considered it a small price to pay for experiencing the beauty of this place.

Did Thoreau have to deal with these bugs while he was living here? Probably. I’m sure he dealt with many inconveniences and challenges. But that is life. Life is inconvenient. Life is challenging. And that will never change..no matter what century we live in, or whether we live on a pond, in a city, on acres of farmland, or in a beautiful resort town.

What also never changes is that we have a choice. We can choose to allow life’s inconveniences and challenges to bother us, and thus steal away our joy of living, or we can choose to live life, to notice and enjoy the good parts, despite the inconveniences that are thrown our way (traffic and black flies being just two of them).

Let’s flip the script. Instead of feeling like we “don’t have time” for the things that feed our soul, let’s consider that the things that feed our soul are what our time is for, so that we can then effectively manage the stressors of life, which will be there whether or not we take the time to care for ourselves.  

I’ll say it again - the stressors of life will be there whether or not we take care of ourselves. To put it a different way - taking care of ourselves does not create stressors. Taking care of ourselves does give us the ability to deal with the stressors. Just like a phone battery, we need recharging to do our work (and I’m not just talking about our careers, I’m talking about everything we do, every day.) effectively.

If you are of the opinion that taking time for yourself DOES create stress, because when you want to do something for yourself, others get upset, or you wonder who’s going to “cover for you” and do all the things you do for everyone else while you’re gone, I have some awakenings for you:

1) If others get upset when you take care of you, this is a red flag. Please consider whether you want these people in your life. If these people are your children, this is a great opportunity to educate them about the importance of self care and to model it for them. They will be fine if you take a few moments to yourself, I promise.

2) Also consider that those around you perhaps haven’t experienced in a long time what “you at your best” looks like. They very possibly may enjoy the self-cared for version of you even better than the current version of you.

3) If you are doing so much for others that you don’t have time to care for yourself, please explore the reasons why you are putting everyone else’s well-being above your own. You matter too my friend.

When I arrived at the Thoreau homesite, a short way off the main path, I took a deep breath. I realized that this was why I came here today…to walk the same path that Thoreau walked; to be in the same space where he toiled, slept, ate, probably got annoyed by black flies, and most importantly for me, contemplated a bigger picture of life and captured those thoughts which were eventually published.  

My visit to Walden Pond was an enjoyable and spiritual experience for me. I left feeling full of gratitude for Thoreau’s words and for the time that I was able to spend seemingly in his presence. I was glad that I took time to do something that was important to me, even if it may seem silly or like wasted time to others.

I ended up arriving home later than I had planned (which was already going to happen anyway due to the traffic). I experienced time in nature, in a place that means something to me, and I experienced a powerful recharge. This is living intentionally.

What will you choose today as you go about your day? I hope you choose to live with intention, and that you give yourself the gift of feeding your soul.

Go and Do, with Grace,

xo
Nancy

Nancy Sawyer is a speaker, facilitator and coach who focuses on the importance of self care and living intentionally in order to live a fulfilled life. Living intentionally means stepping into each day with a known intent and purpose, and confidently making the choices that are right for us, with love and kindness for ourselves and others.  Her “Intentional Living” courses and her “Permission to Pause” workshops have helped hundreds to step into self care and make themselves priority.

Nancy can be reached at nancy@nancybsawyer.com.