It’s Time To Show Up

The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.

This is part of a poem by Robert Frost, entitled Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening.

I have carried these lines around in my head for years. They make me think. They intrigue me. I have considered them, spoken them out loud, written them a hundred times. I have tossed them over and over again in my mind.

This is what these lines represent to me…

The first line – “The woods are lovely, dark and deep” – represents me retreating to my inner world. I have a tendency to withdraw - from others, from life, from good things. Perhaps it is a mild form of depression. I have always been this way, ever since I was 14, when I suffered a trauma, and as a result I hid my true self. I withdrew. Now, as an adult who is reviewing my life, I realize that I withdrew regularly during my lifetime. I just couldn’t or didn’t want to deal with life, with my emotions, with feeling alone, with the pain. The woods in these lines represents my mind - the place where I go to withdraw. They are lovely, dark and deep. It is so lovely there because I don’t have to deal with life. It is a dark place, and I can go very deep and get wrapped up in my inner stories of loneliness and unworthiness. I tell myself that I am unlovable, that I am worthless, and that I shouldn’t even bother trying. It’s easy for me to stay in this deep and dark place. These woods have been my refuge for decades. I’ve spent a lot of time there. It’s familiar. Now, as I am realizing how this habit has stopped me from growing, from living to my potential, from living my purpose, I realize that it is time to stop withdrawing from life. I must no longer withdraw. I must connect, reach out, and share my story.

The second line - “But I have promises to keep,” this is the reason I can no longer stay in the woods. I have promises to fulfill. Promises to myself – to live my purpose. Promises to others. You see, others depend on me to show up in this world. My children. My friends. My family. My clients. And even the strangers that I interact with every day. I always try to send a smile or a kind word to people as I go through my day. We never know what someone is going through. We never know what their woods is like. Maybe they are in their own woods today, and something as small as a smile or a friendly hello might help them come out. Yes, I have promises to keep. The Universe gave me this beautiful gift of life. It gave me a purpose. It put me here to end generational patterns, to bring more light into this world, and to make a difference in the lives of others. Wasting this gift is no longer an option for me.

The third line, “And miles to go before I sleep,” is the work that I must do. I must step up to the challenge. Step into my gifts. Claim the beauty that is my life, own my story and use it to help the world. I must take responsibility – to develop my gifts, to cultivate my talents, to care for my body and my mind so I am in top form to use my gifts as they are needed. This is the work of allowing myself to live freely, to be happy, to engage in and enjoy life. To discover myself. To love and to be loved. There are miles and miles to go, and so much to do to fulfill my purpose.

The last line, a repeat of the third, represents actual miles that I run. You see, running pretty much saved me, at a time when I was at a very low point. I first began running to run away from life, but it quickly became my therapy, and is now one of my most happy places. Running continues to transform me. I have miles to go before I sleep. This reminds me to keep running, for my physical and emotional health, for my self care, for my goals, for my continued transformation into a beautiful self that I can be proud of and who shows up for life.  

I love these lines. They have become a part of me.

Sending you love and support as you show up for life today too.

 Go and do, with grace.

Xo
Nancy